It’s been going okay. I had one huge bad spell, and a few little ones, but it hasnt been too bad.
Of course that changes tonight. I haven’t gotten back to the doctor for my meds, and tonight I really need them.
Today at school they were all talking about a big party, and making plans about it…I didn’t get an invite… it gets worse…
Lance decided to go to out to some clubs in Mexico with our friend Ramon and some girls I went to highschool with and their friends.
Usually, I would be angry. I’d blow up, I’d throw things I’d break things, but I’m just sad. I mean I’m ten hours away, what can I do?
It’s like I’ve been so angry my whole life that my body is just done. It’s done with being angry and frustrated, it’s done with dealing with things that hurt.
Especially things that hurt so bad, and you don’t know how to tell that person because I just want to be a good girlfriend. I don’t want to try to stop him from doing things he likes to do. I don’t want to be one of “those” girls who tells there boyfriends to sit, stay and roll over.
But if I’m doing such a great thing, why does it feel so bad?
